Twisted Wonderland: An Invader Zim Tale
by kamekameo
Summary: The title says it all. It's twisted... And, that's all I can say... Oh fine, 'A crazy story about Dib and Zim getting stuck in a twisted wonderland, just like Alice in Wonderland but it's 5 times crazier'... Um, Hinted ZaDR in later chapters... Enjoy...8D
1. The Craziness Begins

+TWISTED WONDERLAND: AN INVADER ZIM TALE+

Okay, so… Um the whole story would be as told to you by Dib. So more or less, bear the pretty much messed up, exaggerated and sarcastic narrating of our beloved Dib. :D

Kameo: Okay, so, this is my first ever posted fic. First thing I have ever posted... As in, first thing I have _ever _posted online so I warn you, this is seriously twisted. And don't expect that this is entirely based on the original Alice. Anyways, thanks to me and my retarded in a good way friends, I was urged to actually post this. Why of all fairy tales and cartoons on earth, I choose _Alice in Wonderland _and _Invader Zim_? Because mixing up two extremely different things which seriously have nothing in common whatsoever except for their structural DNA formation is fricken awesome. 8D

**_Edit: I just fixed the line spacing a bit... No other major changes..._**

Now, enough of my babbling and let's get on with the story! Please enjoy and criticism is 99 percent allowed. XD

**Disclaimer: I swear to Jhonen Vasquez and Lewis Carroll that I, Kameo, fan-girl, inspired ****writer and sergeant major, never has, never will and never would be able to own ****Invader Zim and Alice in wonderland, no matter how much I bet, wish, dream, hope ****and protest on it. However, Invader Zim currently owns a bit of my soul, so I belong to ****them. :D XD lawlz X3 **

**_omfg I have copyright 8D_**

**+The Craziness has Begun+**

How exactly did I get into this mess? Nothing in here makes any sense anymore. Well, I'm certainly not gonna take the blame _this _time. It's all Zim's fault, for all I know. I mean, who else could be demented and ambitious enough to play this stupid prank? And all he's been doing ever since we got here was play dumb and protest- very violently at that- that he too had no idea what we were doing here… speaking of that, where exactly is _here_?! And- aww heck, lemme just start from the beginning and clear some things up.

Late afternoon, right after skool, I hurried back home, rushed up to my room and immediately turned on my computer. I had just barely managed to install some new cameras round Zim's house but nonetheless, I succeeded.

"Ugh. Not _this _again", I groaned as an all too familiar sight of a green dog eating extremely large amounts of junk food appeared on my desktop screen. After looking at the grotesque image of Zim's robot wolfing down a humongous slice of pizza for a good five minutes or so, the former finally came through the door and the latter began squealing around and shrieking something about some dumb show he just watched. Zim, as I had expected, tossed away the wig he was wearing and set aside his contacts. Man, am I gonna make a lot outta this when I finally get to expose him. But midway through that, the reception went a little fuzzy. I tapped at the CPU, and then, as if on cue, the power went out. I could have sworn I heard a number of screams and swearing from outside, probably from some people who couldn't live without technology.

I sighed… Technology... "Bingo", I smirked. I groped around my dark room for my camera and raced out of the house. _This could be my chance! Those stupid garden gnomes of his are bound to have been affected by the power failure! _Zim's house was pretty much visible already from my perspective. I almost slammed myself on his window due to the force I put up just to get there in time. A peek inside. Empty. The house was completely deserted. All I could see was a whole lotta dark.

"Impossible! He was just here! No way in hell he could've gotten away _that_ fast!" I yelled to myself as I banged my fists at Zim's door. I felt a strange presence just then. The paranoid feeling of someone stalking me started to get stronger. I quickly turned around. No one was in sight. Everything fell silent. No birds, no cars and no people. Just me, all alone in the now dark and deserted street. Or so I thought. I forwarded a bit, careful not to make any loud sounds. One of the streetlight started to flicker open. A vague silhouette of a person mysteriously appeared before the now lit streetlight. I walked towards the still figure, not letting my guard down. I was inches away from the person now when-

Thud. I felt a searing pain on the back of my head. The very last thing I saw was none other than Zim himself. That was when my vision began to blur into the inky blackness of night.

_A peculiar numb feeling rose inside me. It was pitch black all around and not a sound could be heard. I felt so... euphoric. Yet at the same time, empty. Incomplete. Something like an unfinished work of art. Was I... Dead? That couldn't be. For some reason, I can still feel this weird, painful feeling in my gut. As if someone keeps punching me over and over again smack dab in the middle of my stomach._

"Oof!" I grunted as the thing that had been using my stomach as a trampoline woke me up from the dark world in my head. The thing started shrieking in an oddly familiar tone. My eyesight was a tad bit blurry; bet I was still half asleep. Hmph. I guess this wasn't such a good day to start out with... My stomach hurt, my glasses are gone and-

"AH, GOD!" I cussed when a heavy weight of some sort stepped on my hand. Damnit, where _are _my glasses? It was bad enough that I couldn't see all too well. Why'd it have to be dark? Heh, stupid question, I suppose. After a while of almost completely wasted effort from looking for my glasses which had been in my pockets the whole time, I found out that the thing that was jumping on me and stepped on my hand was none other than Zim and his flea brained robot dog thing. Apparently, his robot was on extreme hyper hyper mode and was too busy being all high and stuff to even bother listening to his owner.

A strong wave of nostalgia hit me as I took a good look of my current surroundings. It was the really old park that was closed down years before even I was born. It's like, located just a few inches from 'that place'. Trust me. You do _not _wanna know. Anyways, it was closed down due to its unhealthy habitat and a spot bit too dangerous for a park. But even if it was strictly advised not to ever penetrate this dreaded place, I still explored the place for some paranormal hunting. The police eventually found out what I was doing and banned me from coming into this damned place. Sigh. If only they'd just stop being stupid and believed me for once.

"GIR! I order you to stop goofing around and lis-"

"Weeeeeeee! Doom doom doom doom doom doooooom!"

Oh. Right. Them. I almost forgot about that. I wonder if my camera's still with me... Yes! Now, I can finally expose Zim of what he really is! If we get outta here... Safely. Oh God I just forgot. The chance of us getting back _safely _is just as big as the chance of me ever going to be as rich and popular as Bill Gates... Not that I believe I ever will. And dog damnit, when will these two ever shut their traps? I found the chance and tripped Zim over, making Gir escape a good few meters away from him.

"Dib-stink! I never noticed you there till now!" the tone of his voice having obvious sarcasm.

"Well, I'm certainly not in the mood to interact with you inferior worm-baby, so if you'll excuse me..." he ran off and followed Gir into a small rabbit hole under a fairly large acacia tree. I suddenly felt as if my body was in control now, instead of my brain. Naturally, I wouldn't be this careless, but yet, here I am. Running towards the rabbit hole and following the pair into a narrow passage.

"Ugh. I can't believe this rabbit hole even has a better state than that of the school-" oh _snap_, "-veeeeeeeeeeeeeents!"

**+Chapter end+**

Well, looks like this isn't really Dib's lucky day eh? And what's up with Gir? Did the sugar finally get to him? Find out in teh next chapter! XD lawlz it sounds so dramatic nyahaha... And I'll _try _to put more stuff in this fic... And type faster... Damn my lousy typing skills! XD And damn... I can't use any underscores XP


	2. Down the ol' Rabbit hole

Kameo: Huh... It's a good thing I didn't name this Dib In Wonderland... There's this other good story that's named exactly that... Anyways... Enjoy! X3  
Damn... I also can't put in a really long title... Aww well XD Oh and please excuse the words that've been clumped together... stupid double spacing rule

**Recap:**

_Naturally, I wouldn't be this careless, but yet, here I am. Running towards the rabbit hole and following the pair into a narrow passage. "Ugh. I can't believe this rabbit hole even has a better state than that of the school-"oh snap, "-veeeeeeeeeeeeeents!"_

**+Down the ol' Rabbit hole and into the Weirdness+**

Is this the end? Hmph. Don't you just _hate_ it when you fall from an edge of something really high and after a few minutes of falling, you're _still _falling? Am, I gonna end up in the center of the earth or what? Heh. I just fell off the ledge of the rabbit hole and I'm just down here, still falling, all calm and-

"Aargh!" Well, I wasn't expecting _that_to be such a smooth landing... Eh? What the hell is this green lump I'm sitting on? And what's with all those muffled moaning and grunti-

"Whoa!" Damnit, if ever I survive whatever's going on, bet that I'll get home with a ton of damned bruises. And look who's here! Huh, so _that's _what I've been sitting on. Zim just ran off into the dark tunnel, barely even looking at me. Something's going on and I certainly don't like it.

"GIR! GIIIR! Come back you stupid SIR unit!" echoed Zim's voice from the other side of the tunnel, followed by a loud slam.

This is getting really weird. _Sigh_, might as well explore this place. Not like I have any other choice. On the other side, before my eye was a square black and red checked and padded room. Across the room was a peculiar looking blood red door. I felt a little tint of déjà vu wash over me. But I just shook that feeling off. I mean, it's not like I've ever seen this place... I think. I opened the door, and to my annoyance, there were several other doors to be opened, one smaller than the other. I crawled through the last and smallest door with much effort, due to the fact that I couldn't fit my head in at first- and NO my head is _NOT _big. Geez...

And, I don't know about you, but, I think I'm seeing Zim having an argument with a door. Yes, a door. Aside from me, Zim and the door, there's nothing else in the unusually large room. Haha, I just got this really stupid idea that we were actually in the Alice in Wonderland movie. Am I really going crazy? Well, the falling part and this room _was_ a bit familiar looking, but, other than that, this place is nothing like the one in the movie. From what I've seen, Alice's wonderland was colorful and curious looking. There's certainly nothing curious looking about this place and it's definitely _not _colorful. It's all full of black, white and other gothic colors, if I do say so myself.

"Hey Zim, what's up with you? Usually, every time we see each other we go on rival mode. Now, all you care about is your dumb robot" I said casually as I slowly approached him.

No reply. And is it me or is he shaking..? "This is all... Your fault! If you hadn't followed us, this would never have happened!" he finally managed to blurt out.

"Me?! _You're _the one who nabbed me and dragged me all the way there with you!"

"Speak for yourself, Dib-worm!"

"_If I had the right mind to-" _

_"Right mind? Since when have you ever even had it?!_"

**"Shut up!" **

**"No, **_**you **_**shut up!"**

"Why you-!" "_Ahem"_, the 'door' coughed, cutting us off.

"If you don't mind me asking, do any of you two have any intention at all to open me or what?" it said rather impatiently.

"Oh right" I said as I advanced to it and placed my hand on its knob, but immediately took it off when it said "Oh no you don't! you certainly can't fit in here!"

"Well, what do you want us to do? Drink from a little vial's contents that makes us shrink into your size?" Zim looked at me weirdly and the door just smirked.

"Are you mad? Welcome to the 21st century, where people don't drink from vials anymore!" it laughed. Two cans of soda appeared from nowhere and hovered over to you and Zim.

"Uhh..."

"Go on! It's not poison, for goodness' sake!" I sighed and took in a few sips of the can's contents. Hm. Tastes a bit like... Lemon Lime? Coke? Hmm... Root beer? Eh? Oh gee, now I'm as short as the door... And Zim is..? Running around, screeching his head off... I laughed at his carelessness.

"You're not supposed to _shake _it Zim."

"I did _not _shake it, earth monkey" he glared, pushed me aside and ran to the door, trying to wrench it open.

"Ow! I may be a door but I've got feelings too, sheesh!" the door snapped at us.

"Haven't I told you yet? _I'm locked_" it smirked.

"You could've told us _before_ we shrunk ourselves!"

"Oh, don't tell me you didn't get the key?"

"What key-?!" A loud _clang_ sound echoed through the room.

"_That _key" the door taunted with a know-it-all voice. It was on top of a table probably made of onyx... Well, it looked sparkly and black anyway... But what we were really sure of is that it was too slippery and steep to climb.

"You expect us to climb _that_?" I pointed out.

"Oh is whining the only thing you do? You're not gonna get anywhere with an attitude like _that_. You don't want to end up like _her _right?" the door pointed it's knob at a pile of skeletons covered in dust, dried blood and God knows what in the back corner. I cringed at the sight of the filth.

"What the hell is that?!" Zim demanded.

"_That's _the remains of the _original _Alice. You think it all was a happy ending for her? Well, you'd better think more about it. The award winning family movie you humans watch is a total lie. People can't afford to tell the truth these days. I mean, how much of you people even know of the holocausts?"

"Uhh..."

"Oh never mind... This may help you."

A little box encrusted with semi precious stones almost hit you on the head when it dropped from above without warning. And instead of chocolate chip cookies, inside it was a bunch of mini mint gum balls that have 'chew me' carved on them. Not much choices round here. But before I knew it, Zim had already started munching on a couple too much of the gum. _This is gonna get destructive_...

Zim almost crushed me as he got bigger. Damn, thank God I was born versatile.

"Oof! Stupid humanoid food" Zim complained as he hit his now gigantic sized head on the ceiling.

"JUST GET THE DAMN KEY THEN DRINK THIS!"

"Right..." he flicked the key at me and gingerly held at the tiny looking can. He downed it all and shrunk back to my size, unfortunately landing on yours truly.

"Zim, get _off_ _me_!" Zim hurried up to the door and fumbled with the lock.

"Oh, and one more thing. There's a-" oh God, please no more surprises. _Clack. _It all happened in a second. Zim opened the door and a flood of blood red liquid gushed in at the speed of sound.

"-River of blood..." the door gurgled.

Me and Zim held on to each other tightly, screaming our heads off... Which was _so_ not helping. We struggled not to get any of the blood in our mouths; it was bad enough we were drenched in it. The current was flowing really fast, thrashing us around violently.

It seemed like forever till we finally got washed over onto a shore. It also took a while for us to realize the fact we were still latched onto each other. We took a good look at each other and immediately detached from each other like similar poled magnets. Ugh, I take back what I thought about the Alice thing. I'm a hundred percent sure this is the wonderland... Even though it looks more like a gothic Halloween party scene. The trees' leaves were a murky blackish violet color and its bark was as jagged and grooved as of an acacia's. It didn't really seem like there was anyone here at all.

"Urgh... Despicable human filth" Zim muttered while trying to clean off the blood on him with a few fallen leaves.

Ignoring him, I entered the dark, gloomy forest. A high pitched screech echoed throughout the forest and a flock of bat-like creatures with... Heart shaped holes in them... Uhh, fluttered across the small clearing. A dim light emerged from a small circular nest. Is it me or are they on fire? Hm. Fireflies I guess. There were clumps of mushrooms and weeds surrounding the whole terrain. Plus, there were odd looking flowers with red petals hidden by the bushes... _Hm... I wonder what these are-_

"Aargh!"

"_Hssss_"

"Oh God, _that _was a close call... Damnit... Stupid Venus flytraps. Hey! Zim! Get your ass over here or I'm leaving you!"

"Alright, alright sheesh! No need to rush me, monkey butt!" Of all the people to be stranded with... Is this karma or something? Cause if it is, I probably deserve it... Or not. I hate my life... Great. Now my sixth sense is tingling. It's either something... or someone's watching us, or I'm just getting paranoid... This place gives me the creeps.

**+Someone else's POV+**

Interesting... It's been quite a while since our last visitor... It's been so long now. Long enough for _us _to kick those other clowns outta here and take over this wonderland of theirs. It was just about time these three got here... I'm bored outta my wits. Hahaha. Time to stir up some fun.

**+Chapter end+**

Mysterious... Who could that someone else be? Heh... Lawlz


	3. Pocky from the Black Cat

Kameo: Hi again... Excuse the 'late I my opinion' update... Midterm finals... damn them... Anyways, throughout the last 2 chapters, I've been trying to contain my sanity and tried, with great difficulty to _not_ put in any of the crazy parts my friend suggested and intend to save them all till the very last chapter, _The Making_... Okay, this is sounding like a formal little intro thingy, so... stop reading this and get on with the story! XD

**+Pocky from a Black Cat+**

**+Still that **_**Someone's **_**POV+**

Ugh, I _finally_ found that stupid green dog of theirs. _I'm _exhausted like hell trying to track this thing down, and yet, the dog's still dancing the Caramelldansen while eating the tacos the Queen's minions stashed somewhere inside the tree bark we just passed. Now, let's see how gullible this costume wearing robot really is.

"Um, excuse me-?"

"Intruder!" The robot's eyes flashed red through it's costume and pointer a rather sharp looking stick at me. A few seconds of staring at each other...

"Oh, I thought you were a monster" it said and went back to nibbling on the taco.

"As I was saying, Gir, right? Gir, see this?" I pointed to a basket of waffles and tacos I was carrying and it immediately tried to grab it from me.

"Whoops! I don't think so! In order to get this, all you have to do is follow us. Don't listen to your real owners till we say so, okay?" It nodded in reply.

"Alrighty then, see this trail of food? Follow it. I don't care if you eat it or not, just follow it to the end. Understand, Gir?"

"Yes ma'am!" It saluted and ran off into the woods, and as I expected, following the trail. _Heh. Now for the fun part. _I thought as I took out a pack of chocolate flavored pocky. I took one out, stuck it in my mouth and disappeared into the dark light.

**+Dib's POV+**

"Zim" I gasped "We have passed this stupid clearing five times already. _Five_ times! I don't think your 'elite sense of direction' is even functioning all too properly now, is it?" I glared at him.

"Oh, well I'm sorry. Maybe you should navigate us through the forest just like earlier, and lead us back to the little cave that was filled with filthy blood sucking _leeches_, my dear Dib-stink!"

"I thought they were chunks of coal implanted in the cave walls!"

"Oh really now! With such a big head, there should be at least a little brain in there!"

"What does my brain have to do with _this _situation?! Ugh, look, let's just find something to drink, okay?" Zim just grunted in reply and walked on. A few minutes later though...

"As you can see, worm baby, there's _nothing _to drink here!"

Which was pretty much true, cause the only bodies of water here were two lakes and a little stream. The first lake was made up of blood, the second was filled with tadpoles, worms and fly eggs, while the stream was a little too salty for our tastes. Just then, I stopped at my tracks when I heard a few leaves lightly rustle. Yes, I know, paranoid, but ever since I got the feeling of someone watching us, my sense of hearing, sight and smell have sharpened.

"Oi! Worm-" "Shush!" "Eh? No human sh-UMF!" I had no choice but to cover his mouth with my hand.

I was definitely sure someone was following us. The rustling stopped but I could smell a tiny hint of... Chocolate? Now _that _was weird. Just then, we were bombarded by a couple of sticks. One of them managed to pin the end of my trench coat on a tree. I tried to pry it off me and realized that it wasn't a stick but a rather hard chocolate covered bread stick_. Bread stick_? What the hell is a _bread stick_ doing _here_?! Just then, the sound of someone giggling sent chills down my spine. I felt a presence get closer. But no matter how much I backed up, I could still feel it getting closer and closer and-

"Pocky?"

"AAARRGGH!" I quickly turned around- a tad bit too fast though so I fell on my butt- and saw a girl with short hair and midnight black colored eyes wearing a black striped turtleneck and black boots sitting on a tree's lowest branch holding out a tiny red box with the words _Pocky _on it.

"Wh-who're you?! And where'd you come from?!" She quietly leapt off the branch and stood in front of me.

"The name's Kameo, the Black Cat. Or more popularly known as the Cheshire Cat." grinned the girl and offered to pull me up.

"Pocky?" she asked again.

"Uh, sure..." I took one from the box and bit it in half. Not like I had any choice but to accept it cause she'll probably get offended if I didn't.

_Besides she was rather pretty-_

"So, Dib, what brings you to this side of the forest?"

"Uh, well, I- Hey! How'd you know my name?!"

"How'd you think I knew?" she bluntly asked.

"Let's get walking first. Where's your friend, Zim?"

"Huh? Oh, right. ZIM!"

"I'm comin', I'm comin'!" he shouted and came stumbling towards us.

"Anyway, if you were keeping a close watch at us, then why didn't you even help us?"

"Do I _look_ like someone who's willing to help?"

"I, well-"

"To me, it's a matter of _want_ not _need_. if you want help, you've gotta prove you're worth the help" she smiled.

"Oh..." She waved at us and started to fade slowly.

"Hey! Wait! Where're you going?"

"Uh, somewhere?"

"Can't you just stay with us? I mean, we could travel together... If you want..."

"Haha! Oh Dib, aren't you forgetting that this is _Wonderland_? And besides, it's not like I'm the only person here, of all places." And at that, she placed her box of pocky on my hand and disappeared completely.

"Hm. Weird female worm baby back there..." Zim muttered.

"And why's your face so pink?" he suddenly demanded. A little after that, he shoved me pretty hard, me landing face front. Waking up from the weird trance I haven't realized I was in,

"Huh? Oh, um, let's just get going and find more people round here..."

**+Chapter End+**... Nah, I'm just mesin' with ya XD lawlz

**+Someone else's POV+ **_Le gasp! Another character! Nyahaha..._

"Yo! Kameo! How's it?"

"Hey..."

"So..." I looked at her with the 'I-know-you-know-what-I'm-talking-about' look and she just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, quit it, Mad Hatter... Hey, is that a chocolate frappe?"

"It's all yours... _If_ you tell us first what happened"

"Oh for Pete's sake... _Fine_."

**+'Upstairs'+ **_We all know what's going on in Wonderland right? So, why not check out the happenings, uh, what the hell is the name of the town they live in anyway?!_

**+Gaz's POV+**

Ugh, if I find that bastard, I'm gonna make sure he goes through me before anything else. I've been trying to call him for _hours_now and he still doesn't reply. How long is he gonna stay up in his room anyway? Oh, I swear, Dib Membrane, that I'm gonna give you a firsthand tour of the world of pain.

"DIB! I know you're in there! Open up before I break this stupid door down!"

Silence.

"Grr, ALRIGHT DIB, I'M BREAKING THIS DOOR OFF IT'S HINGES!" A rather loud _Crack _sound echoed throughout the house as i kicked the door right off the hinges. I scanned Dib's stuffy room for any sign of the latter but all I saw was his computer screen showing the insides of Zim's house. Typical. I went downstairs and saw dad making dinner in the kitchen.

"Dad? have you seen Dib anywhere?"

"Not now, honey... Daddy's making... SUPER TOAST!"

...Huh... Why do _I _care anyway? A few days without that pest is alright with me. Hell, even if he's moved in with that weirdo, Zim, I don't care... Now, where'd I put that Gameslave 2 of mine... Wait a second... Last time I saw it was until Dib wanted to borrow it... _Fuck._

"DIB!" I screamed at the sky.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS, YOU HEAR ME! YOU ARE _SO _DEAD!" I shrieked as I waved my fist up at the indigo tinted sky.

**+Chapter end+**

Kameo: Heh, so...Hi again! And I know that you guys have already met, Kameo! No, not _me _sheesh... You see, she's my alter ego, more or less... Haha... Just call me Nekokat so we'll all understand... Oi! Kameo!

Kameo: What?

Nekokat: So, how's your first appearance?

Kameo: It was okay, I guess -_shrugs-_

Dib: Hey guys!

Kameo & Nekokat: Yo Dibbers!

Dib: Don't call me that...

Nekokat: Anyways, I see you've taken interest on a certain Cheshire cat! And i could probably say the same thing for you too, Kameo! -_evil grin-_

Dib: Nuh-uh! -_blushes_-

Kameo:_ -also blushing-_ Y-yeah! And besides, I'm you so that means you like him too!

Nekokat: Oh go away!

Kameo: How can I? I'm _you_ remember?

Nekokat: Aargghh!

Dib: Guys, this isn't really the proper place to argue is it?

Kameo & Nekokat: Why do _you_ care?!

Dib: Cause you like me? _-laughs nervously-_

Zim: Hey guys! What'd I miss?

Kameo: Nothing really...

Dib: Ugh, life saver, Zim... Hey... Whare's Kame- I mean Nekokat?

Nekokat: -_appears with two guns filled with peanut butter and jam and a bag of wheat bread-_ IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

Kameo & Nekokat: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

Dib: NOW WHERE HE AT?! WHERE HE AT?! WHERE HE AT?! WHERE HE AT?!

Zim: NOW THERE HE GO! THERE HE GO! THERE HE GO! THERE HE GO!

All: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!

Kameo & Nekokat: IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT!

Dib & Zim: IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A FOOTBALL CAP!

Gir: Spread the Peanut Butter Jelly Time Virus! Also known as the PBnJ TV! _-dances with everyone else- _

Kameo: Hope ya all enjoyed the hyper hyper outbreak!


	4. Baterpillar and Arrowhead forest

Nekokat: Yo! Like I said last chapter that I _tried_to not put any crazy stuff, but... What the heck! I ain't perfect! So sue me!.. And that is the last time I'm ever editing any of my work using the document manager thingy here in ... Their spell check is busted... Buwahahahaha... XD

**+Vampire girl and the Weirdness of Arrowhead forest+**

**+Dib's POV+**

"Hey... The reason for all this walking around is all for our survival and your robot right?"

"Uhh, yea..." "Then why the _hell _didn't you even bother to ask Kameo?!"

"Oh, uh, you were both so close-like and all that so why should I intrude?"

"Ugh, that's not- Aargh! Never mind... Just keep a close look-out for your dog thing..."

I've been with Zim for more than 12 hours now and... Well, his company isn't all bad after all. But one thing's for sure, and that's the fact that the truce won't last for too long. Enough about that, my feet are starting to feel really sore from all this walking...

"Zim, can't we rest for a little bit?" I panted while I slumped down on a nearby rock.

"_Rest_? Heh, if you keep on going like that, you'll never make it out alive. So put some back into it and let's get walking!" You know what? I take back the 'his company isn't so bad after all' thing.

After a few minutes or so, we managed to venture into a weird looking forest... There was a sign somewhere near the opening but I didn't quite get to read it due to Zim's nagging. Although I could've sworn I saw the word _Arrow_ and _head_. Huh. Arrowhead? Weird name for a forest especially if it didn't even have any visible arrowheads... It probably meant something else. Ignoring that, I took notice on the creatures that stalked the place. A clump of moving black, white and grey colored fur which was reminiscent of the mome raths in Alice in Wonderland were lazily marching around the terrain. Hey... I just noticed something. The deeper we go into the woods, the more arrows I see around us... And the stranger thing is that the word that filled them up made no sense whatsoever. Baloney? _Cheese dip_? Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me. And just look at Zim! Doesn't care at all! Ugh, why do I care-!

Huh? Is is me, or did that arrow with the word _crabgrass_ just move? _Growl_... Oh God I think my hunger pangs are getting to me.

"Earth monkey! Watch out!" shouted my green skinned companion and leapt at me, almost crushing a few mome raths during the knockdown and Zim on top of me.

"What the fudging _HELL _do you think you're doing?!"

"Hmph. You should be thankful that I _saved_ your life" and with that, he pointed at an arrow bearing the word _crabgrass_ lodged deep into the tree bark.

"Oh... Well, then... Thanks..." I heard a lot of leaves rustle from different directions. After that, it was quiet... For a while.

"Zim, when I say run, just _run_..."

"Why should I listen to-"

"Just do as I say!" Eerie silence and a little more rustling.

"RUN!" I grabbed at Zim's arm and dashed to a random direction. Some fairly loud _thwack _sounds could be heard from behind. Those stupid arrows are alive, dog damnit! _Alive_!

"Holy crap!" _That _was close. I'm guessing these arrow things are pretty much territorial. I can't believe I'm thinking this but, I actually miss home.

"Just... A little... More!" Zim gasped when he saw the forest come to an end. And he was right; it was the end of the forest... Which only led to a rather steep cliff and if we got tipped over it, we'd come out covered in maggots, leeches and the like. Oh snap the arrows still followed us out of the forest...

"Zim, we've gotta get out of tree range! Jump!"

"You expect me to-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" I pushed him off and jumped in after him. I just hate hate _hate_ this.

**+Someone else's POV+ **_this is _not _the POV of the person last chapter... so... new character...again... XD_

I watched as two guys jumped off the cliff, into Swamp River. Hm, I guess these are the two _visitors _Kameo mentioned earlier... They don't look too smart to me. Oh well! They'll bump into me sooner or later. Oh... It's starting to rain...

**+Dib's POV+**

"UGH! Phooey! _G-ack urrggh..._ Nasty!"

The river was completely _revolting_. It's a good thing it's raining now or else we'd have no choice but to bathe in the salty river... Heh, though I wouldn't say the same for Zim here. He's hidden himself under a little bush with big leaves.

"Hey Zim! I thought you said resting was for weaklings?"

"I never said anything like that, Dib-worm" he glared. I just smirked and sat down next to him. And ow... I think I injured myself back there... Ah well. Time passed like a snail as the rain was slowly reduced into a light drizzle.

Just as I was about to rest my eyes, a little green spec caught my eye. I tried to shake the sleep outta my head and tried to focus on the moving green dot.

"Doo dee doo dee do, do dee doo..." _Gir_? Holy crap it _is _him!

"Zim! Zim! Your SIR unit!"

"Huh? What? Wher-OOF!" I grabbed at his collar and ran off to the robot's direction.

...Which was a bad idea. Why? Cause I was stupid enough to not think about Gir actually noticing us...

"Whooooops!" it shrieked, picked up some food on the ground and ran off. Not _again_...

"Gir! What is _wrong_ with you?!"

"Waheeheehahaha!" This is gonna be a long run...

**+Someone else's POV+**

Heh, I'm guessing Kameo was right when she said that this robo doggie was as gullible as a dysfunctional brain of an eight year old. I flew up above them as my iPod had the song Grow up by Simple Plan playing. Oh the irony... Anyways, although gullible, it's pretty much adorable in a chibi way. Ooh and here comes the wall, haha. Such a pity that they don't know it's only a hologram... Well, this dog sure makes it really convincing...

**+Dib's POV+ **_oh for goodness' sake this POV changing is tiring XD_

"Where'd he go?!"

"To the other side of the wall probably..."

I looked around for anything we could use to get over, under or through the mossy stone wall.

"Eat this food!" I snatched a cookie from the ground and ate it with one bite.

"What makes you so sure this stuff will even shrink us?!"

"Just eat the food!" And in no time, we were around 3 inches tall, tall enough for us to get through the miniscule mouse hole Gir went through. And on the other side...

Nothing. None. Zilch. The green robo dog is nowhere to be seen.

"Great! Just _great_!" I said restlessly and dropped to my knees. This is definitely karma. Ok, maybe not _definitely_ but... _Sigh_. No choice now but to keep on going.

Hold that thought...

"Zim, quit poking me!"

"Me? You're the one who's been poking _me_!"

Have I ever told you that this _sucks_?

"If that wasn't you, then what..." _Hssss_. A warm, humid feeling passed me. It was that very feeling that reminded me of the Venus flytraps swarming the whole place. There was no need to give any signals this time cause Zim already went ahead of me.

"Hey! Wait up!" "Your loss for not running!" The plants were obviously bloodthirsty and _really_ hungry. They snapped at us mercilessly and one of them almost bit my _head_ off.

We barely escaped. But even if we were out of danger, we still kept running. Who knows what'll happen to us especially in _this_size. Everything our size is probably at the bottom of this wonderland's food chain so there's no telling when or where danger will pop out. We stopped running when we reached this seemingly harmless meadow full of black and white flowers, plants and fungi. The skies were a dark shade of black and blue, and yet the sun was still out. It was quiet. Too quiet. Finally, the silence was broken by the faint sound of music.

"Hey Zim, hear that?"

"Hmm, yes. What is that odd sound?" We quietly made our way through a clump of tall grass. In a small clearing, we saw a girl who wore pigtails, had jet black wings and a fanged tooth, reclining on a big grey mushroom with her iPod.

"Hello?"

"Hi. You must be Zim and Dib, right?" she said in a cheery voice.

"Lemme guess, Kameo told you?"

"Yup! Oh, I'm Arian, resident vampire girl at your service! Or also known as the Caterpillar, in _your _worlds version."

"Um, okay. We were just wondering if you've seen a dog around here."

"A dog? Green and black fur, goofy eyes, has a zipper on his tummy, carrying a mound of food and is shrieking it's head off while running like a maniac and is actually a robot?"

"Y-yeah! That's the one!"

Finally, a glint of hope came across us... A short lived glint of hope, that is... "Nope, haven't seen any of those things... But I _could_ help you with something else!" she beamed.

"So, what seems to be your other dilemma? If you have anything else, I mean."

"Well, yes... In fact we _do_ have another problem."

"Really? Then fire away!"

"We wanna get taller"

"Why?" she cocked her head to the side.

"I mean, being as tall as a mushroom is such a crappy height..." Why do I have the feeling that I hit a sour spot here?

"_I am currently as tall as a mushroom __**and this height is perfectly fine**__** for me!!**_" And with a poof of smoke, she disappeared.

"Oh and just so you know, one side makes you smaller, while the other, taller" Arian's voice came from somewhere.

"The other side of what?!" Bad move. Then, she burst through the tall grass with pure anger in her eyes. And without warning, she uprooted the mushroom she was previously sitting on, yelled,

"The dog damned mushroom of course!" and threw the mushroom at us. After that, she transformed into one of those bats with heart shaped holes in them but her heart was sorta like a broken one... I'm guessing that's how you tell the difference between ordinary and vampire bats.

"Okaay..." Zim picked at the mushroom and gave me a piece. I bit off a morsel, and instead of shrinking like I expected, I grew taller. A little too tall. My head bumped into a couple of really hard tree branches till I finally stopped getting taller.

"Ow..." Zim was laughing his butt off back on the ground.

"You knew that that side of the mushroom was gonna make me bigger, didn't you?! Ooh, if only I could see you, I'm gonna show no mercy and step on you! Now gimme that other mushroom piece cause at this size, I could feel my head actually being big." I took the other piece from him and bit it, rapidly shrinking me back to 3 inches. I liked at the mushroom and grew at just the right size. So did Zim.

"Well, we'd better get some sleep I guess..." he stated.

"Sure..." We nested on a bunch of leaves right below an acacia tree. The sun has set and the stars are out. _Sigh_, to me at this moment, the stars seem so pleasant to look at.

**+Chapter end+**

Nekokat: Wee! 4 days of weekend! 8D

Dib: Heh... Well_ that_ was a crazy day...

Kameo: Phycus!

Zim: Isn't that a plant species here on earth?

Kameo: I dunno but it's fun to say! Phycus Phycus Phycus Phycus!

Dib: Phycus Phycus Phycus!

Zim: Phycus Phycus!

Gir: Phyyyyyycuuuuuusss!

Nekokat: PHYCUS!

Queen of Hearts: _lawl I'm not gonna tell you guys her name yet XD _Hey! That's my line!

Kameo: Chill, we're giving you the credit here!

QoH: Okay then! Phycus phycus phycus phycus phycus phycus phycus phycus phycus phycus phycus!

Dib: Spread the word! Phycus! XD

Arian: Hi! Phycus!


	5. The Tweedle Twins or Triple T

Dib: _Hey! Why am I the-_Oh! Heh... Hey there! Why am _I _the one starting off today's chapter? That's because a certain _someone's _claiming that she's got a major case of writer's block aftermath and is busy stuffing herself with chocoa... Hmm, let's see here -_looks at script-_ says here we're gonna- OW! Hey! What was _that _for?!

Kameo: Ignore him people! Don't listen to spoiler boy here! Oh, and sorry if this was so short! XP

Dib: I ain't spoiling anything! Hey what're you gonna do with that spray bottle?! Augh! Unhand me Zim!

**+The Tweedle twins and the return of the Black Cat+**

I had the weirdest dream. Heh, nightmare, more like. I dreamt that me and Zim got kidnapped and then we were brought to a place called Wonderland... A peek from my eyes and anyone in my point of view could tell that it wasn't a dream. My whole body ached like hell. Take a good guess on who's causing the pain. If my body didn't feel so limp, I would've tipped Zim over into the muddy water puddle. "Zim... I'm giving you 30 seconds to get _off _me." _Snore_. Well _this_ sucks. I tried to pry him off but he just clung to me. God, what did I ever do to deserve this miserable life of mine? _Sigh_ there is no way I'm gonna go back to sleep. The sun is blaring down at us heavily and yet the skies are _still_ bluish black in color. _Splash_!

That was totally unexpected. "Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aargh!" Zim screeched as the water made contact with his skin. I stood up and tried to follow whatever splashed the water at us. Is it me or am I really seeing double? Hm, not quite double. One of them had longer hair...

"Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum?" Both of them looked at me. "Not quite! You see, _I'm _Tweedle dee! And she's..." the girl with shorter hair grinned and pointed to the other one. "Ugh... I'm Tweedle dum..."

"Haha! You're dumb!"

"How many times do I have to tell you that dum and dumb are two completely different things?!"

"Twenty three times!" The girl with longer hair looked like she wanted to strangle her but kept her composure with great restraint.

"Oh, but we prefer being called Chu and Indie, by the way."

Chu came closer to me and whispered, "She doesn't really like being called Tweedle dum... She has anger issues..." "I heard that! I _don't _have anger issues!" Indie yelled, which was a bit like Arian and her little outburst the other day.

"Dib! Let's get going!" Zim marched to our direction and looked at the twins.

"And who might _you_ two be?! Clones of some sort?"

"_Yeah, right_-OW!" Chu nudged at Indie's ribs. "Hahaha, silly! We aren't clones _nor _twins! Anyways, you guys need any help at all?" she beamed.

"No thanks... Last time we asked for help, we got a mushroom thrown at us..."

"Aw, come on! We can help you-"

"Get anywhere-"

"Cause we know every-"

"Single-"

"Secret about Wonderland!"

"Be it detours-"

"Secret and/or underground passages-"

"And anywhere else in here you could think of!" they both said.

"On second thought... Can you tell us where the exit is?" "Hey! What do you think you're saying? We haven't even captured Gir yet!" "Exit?" the two echoed me simultaneously. "We don't think so." "You can get anything else from us-" "Except for _that_." My smile faded.

"But..." I looked up at them again. "We _could _tell you the locations of some willing people!"

"Like the Cheshire cat!"

"Or, you could just go that way, down that path-"

"Take two lefts-"

"And one right-"

"And you'll be at-"

"The Mad Hatter's house!" they chorused.

"It's right past the bunch of bloodthirsty rabbits who're dying to play DDR"

"_Or_, you could also go take a bus-"

"Stop at Sherry river-"

"There's a river made of sherry?"

"Take 5 left turns-"

"And you'll see the March Hare's rabbit hole!"

"It's not hard to miss, really..."

"It's the rabbit hole with a lotta bling."

"Um, we'll just look for Kameo..."

"Alrighty!" they both beamed. "C'mon Zim." We went off to the direction of the Mad Hatter's house, leaving the other two behind.

"Say 'goodbye', dummy!"

"_I already told you to stop calling me a dummy_! Or dumb for that matter!"

"Oh, but you're Tweedle dumb!"

"How many dog damned times must I tell you that dum and dumb are different?!"

"Twenty four times!"

"Don't say twenty four!"

"Twenty four twenty four twenty four twenty four twenty four twenty four twenty four-"

"AAAARRRGGHH!"

We walked on for a while till I decided to call for Kameo. "Kameo? Kameo!"

"Oh, what's the point? She obviously can't hear you!" "Pizza?" "AAAH!" Zim jumped on me, carried him as a reflex, and then dropped him immediately.

"Kameo, please don't do that... Ever..." She was snacking on a quadruple cheese pizza and gulping down a venti sized mocha frappe. "So... What's up?" "Uh, we were just wondering if you could... Help us..." She stopped eating and eyed me closely. "On what?" she asked as she continued to sip her mocha. "Finding our way outta here." She just stared at us. "Oh, well, I guess we still don't qualify... I guess we'll just move on..."

"I'd love to help. I really do... But..." "But? But what?" I pleaded.

"The thing is, I'm not really in the condition to help you with that." She smiled.

"Not in the condition..?"

"You see," her sleek black tail circled us, "Hmm, well, let's just say that it's something I really wanna do but can't, due to a few... Obstacles."

"Oh..."

"But I'm not the only one here, remember? You could always go up to the Mad Hatter or the March Hare, whichever strikes your fancy." After that, she started to fade away. "But I personally recommend the Mad Hatter's place." She smiled and disappeared completely. "She still seems weird to me." Somewhere on the ground, I spotted a weird looking creature that seems to be made out of a translucent blue color and it conveniently contained water. I picked it up and threw it at Zim.

"AAAAAH!" Heh. I'm never gonna get tired of that sound. I followed the instructions of the Tweedle twins while Zim grudgingly trailed after me. We could already see the big-ish house just around the corner. Just a few paces! Now, the only problem is: getting through the allegedly bloodthirsty rabbits that're dying to dance. _This _could be a problem. The rabbits were blocking the annoyingly narrow passage. Zim just walked on without a second thought while I stayed back and watched. And what do you know! The rabbits really _are_ bloodthirsty! _How _did I figure out that that excruciatingly disgusting yet totally cool description was actually true? Trust me... You _don't_ wanna know.

**+Chapter end+**

Nekokat: No humans, Irkens or bunny rabbits have been harmed in the making of this fan fiction

Kameo: Or so you thought :D

Dib: So, you finally decided to get off your lazy, procrastinating butt and start doing something, eh?

Nekokat: Yep! Now, if you'll excuse me... -_goes to a random corner of the room and plots evil-_

Kameo: Uhh, ignoring her...

Gir: I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! YA LIKE TO

Zim & Kameo: MOVE IT!

Zim: I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! YA LIKE TO

Gir & Kameo: MOVE IT!

Alex: There they are! After em, guys! –_Gloria, Marty & Melvin run after the three-_

Kameo: What? Hey! Waitasec! We're giving you the credit here! -_runs with Zim and Gir-_

Alex- So, kid... Where's the sushi you promised?

Dib: Here... -_hands over a tray of sushi-_

Kameo: ­-_stops running_- Raw fish senses are tingling! -_runs after Alex like a crazed cat-_

Dib: Alex, run... She's comin' after us! -_runs away with Alex-_

Nekokat: _Ku ku ku ku ku... _Tune in next time to see how bad Zim and Dib got injured. _Ku ku ku ku ku... -goes back to the corner of evil-_


	6. Coffee Party Madness

Zim: Hello? Testing, testing... One two three- Oof! Kameo! What the hell is-? Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Uuurgh...

Kameo: Heh... Anyways, Nekokat just wanted to pass on this little note to all you readers out there... Ahem, here goes... Eh?! Dib, you're blocking my view-!

Dib: Warning: This chapter is gonna be ninety four percent crack and senseless humor. So, to all you people out there who're sensitive to senseless humor, unappreciative to crack or have no sense of humor whatsoever, get the hell out of here right now or feel the wrath of Zim's... Babies?

Kameo: No! Rabies! Oh wait... Nekokat, your hand writing is hideous! Wait, that makes _my_ hand writing hideous too! +_Kameo!_+ Oh, anyways, is this 'babies' or 'rabies'?!

**+The mad Coffee Party+**

"Oh, come on, Zim! Lighten up! All they said was, '_Either you play DDR or... Perish!',_ and you beat them! You be thankful that your blood isn't currently on their menu."

I said with an all too big grin. Seriously, though, those rabbits were _killer_. If _I_were challenged to a game of nonstop DDR with a bunch of rabbits behind me with their razor sharp teeth a few inches from your butt, I'd rather go to hell...

"Hmph, _barely_ beat them, more like... Those rabbits were good..." he admitted. "Well, at least we're here."

We went through the tall bronze gate that led to the Mad Hatter's back yard. It was just as I expected it to look like... Okay, maybe not. There were a few noticeable differences. Like the fact that it smelled of _coffee_ instead of tea. Plus, the walls were made of black colored bricks and there were a lot of trees that surrounded the place. The table was filled with cups of different shapes and sizes and a variety of food was scattered around. Other than those, the whole place was deserted. No one was there. Or so we thought...

"Heeeeey!" a female voice said. "What do you think you're doing, trespassing?!" A girl wearing a black hat and blue hoodie appeared outta nowhere demanded.

"Um, we were just-"

"Don't you know it's _rude_ to just barge into a party, uninvited?!" Another girl with black rabbit ears hollered.

"Um, well, Kameo told us-" "Ooh! Kameo, you say? Well come right in!" the girl with the blue hoodie took us by the wrists and pushed us into a chair...

And yes, when I say _pushed us into a chair_ it means two people in one. The girl with the rabbit ears jumped on to the table, sat there and took a pastry from some random dish. I'd guess that it was butterscotch.

"I'm Pon, she's Rei."

"But personally, we like being called the Mad hatter and March Hare, if you please." Rei said while taking a sip from her cup.

"Care for a cup of coffee?" Pon handed us two cups of it. "Sure, thanks..." I took mine and just stared at it. "Sooo", Pon started, "you two goin' on a date or something?" _Spuurrt. _

"What?! You crazy or something?!" we said simultaneously, a faint shade of pink gracing our cheeks. "Are you _mad _or something?!" I sputtered. "Mad? That's my name!" "Move down, move down, move down!" Pon yelled, standing up and walking on the table as Rei dragged us a few chairs down.

"Want some more coffee?" Rei offered a plastic cup with the Starbucks symbol on it.

"But we haven't even-" "It's peanut butter jelly time!" "But I hate peanut butter!" "And I hate jelly!" "But I love jelly..." "And I love peanut butter..." Oh the irony... "I know! Let's cut it in half!" "Yeah!"

Then, Rei took out a gigantic cleaver from God knows where and sliced the cup in half.

"Half a cup of peanut butter, Pon?" "Don't mind if I do!" After a while, Rei looked at us saying, "Are you _sure_ you two aren't going out? I mean, you two look really cute together!"

"We're not dog damned gay!"

"Waffles, Zim?" "Uhh, sure..." "Hmph, at least _he _likes the food." "What? You guys haven't even offered me any!" "Oh, sorry!" "Move down!" Rei hollered. "Coffee?" "Ugh, I haven't even had any..." I muttered as I took a big sip from the random cup in front of me.

"Bluurgghh! _Cough cough_! Aack, auugh..! What the hell?! This isn't coffee!"

"Of course it isn't, silly! That's the soy for the sashimi and sushi!" "Oh, and don't forget the wasabi in there!" "W-wasabi?!" I felt a stinging pain up my nose and head. "Aaaarghh! What the hell is soy sauce doing in these cups anyway?!" A few tears escaped my eyes. _God_ it really stung.

"MOVE DOWN!" Pon screamed at my ear. "Do you _have _to scream like that?!" "It's a free country. Gotta problem with that?" a smug look on her face was pretty much visible. "More coffee?" What the hell?! Anyways, there was this odd looking thermos thing with no spout or handle whatsoever. Curiosity got the better of me so I opened the cover for a little peek, only to have a vermin like thing come out screaming, "Freedom! FREEEEEEDOOOM!" and scampered around the table.

"What the-? Eek! What the _hell _did you think you were doing?! PON! Prison break!" I just watched as Pon and Rei tried to capture the little rodent thing and succeeded after a few crashes.

"OI! Instead of gaping into space, hand me that wasabi!" "Oh, sorry..." they grabbed the tube from me and shoved most of its contents into the thing's nose. I took a closer look at it and found out that it was actually a really small guy with dormouse ears and a tail. It's screams could still be heard even after Rei put it back in the metal pot. Well, not after she threw it somewhere off the horizon, that is.

"Well, _that_ was unexpected..." was all I could muster up after the short ruckus. "What _was_ that anyway?" "_That _was... Let's just say he was a certain someone named Jorel..." Pon said mysteriously. "Who was being held here against his will!" Rei added with a big grin. "Against his will?" "Of course! Why'd you think there aren't any guys around here, eh? Anyways, Butterscotch, Pon?" "Sure!" Man, I'm almost forgetting why we came here... "Um, mind if I ask you guys something?" "Nope!"

"Could you two help us find our way out?" "_Your_ way _out_?" "Oh, I-" "No can do, buddy!" "Eh?" "What do you think we are?" "Tour Guides?" Rei laughed. "You've gotta go to the _Queen_ first!"

"Yup! She's just down that path over there!" Rei said while taking a big cup of coffee from her cap.

Queen. I'm not liking the sound of this. The queen in the movies is a whiny old bat with a bad temper. And judging by the craziness of _this_ wonderland, the queen here is probably ten times worse.

"MOVE-" "I KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO, OKAY?!" Aw man, I think this is all getting to me. "Look, we'll just get going now, alright?" "Okie dokie!" the two cheered. Whoa, I think the butterscotch is getting to Pon's nervous system. I grabbed at Zim's collar (and which I may add, almost choked him) and walked off.

"Hey, big head!" "My head's NOT-" Pon threw me a small square-ish box with indigo wrapping. "Uhh, thanks?" I said and continued to leave. A few seconds later, peals of maniacal laughter that obviously came from Pon and Rei echoed throughout the forest. Huh, I wonder why they're laughing..? I remembered the package those two gave me. I opened it to reveal a tiny blue colored bead. Is it just me, or was it growing bigger and bigger every second? The moment it was as big as a grape...

_Ka-splatter_.

"Bahahaha! HAPPY _UN_-BIRTHDAY, DIB!" the duo hollered from afar.

We were both covered in an indigo colored goo that smelled like... Blueberries. Oh _joy_. The only hope of us ever getting clean is if it rains... Or, you could just have a flock of _seemingly harmless_ blueberry raving ravens peck you clean.

**+Chapter end+ **

_Dun dun du du du dun dun_

Zim: Let's face the facts about me and you, a love unspecified. Though I'm proud to call you _chocolate bear_, the crowd will always talk and stare. **+SEME+**

Dib: I feel exactly those feelings, too and that's why I keep them inside. Cause this bear can't bear the world's disdain, and sometimes it's easier to hide **+UKE+**

Zim & Dib: Than explain our guy love, that's all it is, guy love, he's mine, I'm his. There's nothing gay about it in our eyes.

Dib: You ask me bout this thing we share

Zim: And he tenderly replies,

Dib: It's guy love

Zim & Dib: Between two guys

Dib: We're closer than the average man and wife

Zim: That's why our matching bracelets say Dib and Zim

Dib: You know I'll stick by for the rest of my life

Zim: You're the only man who's ever been inside of me

Dib: Whoa, I just took out his appendix.

Zim: There's no need to clarify

Dib: Oh no?

Zim: Just let it grow more and more each day. It's like I married my best friend

Dib: But in a totally manly way.

Zim & Dib: Let's go! It's guy love, don't compromise, the feeling of some other guy, holding up your heart, into the sky

Zim: I'll be there to care through all the lows

Dib: I'll be there to share the highs

Zim & Dib: It's guy love, between two guys

Zim: And when I say, "I love you, Dib," it's not what it implies

Zim & Dib: It's guy love between two guys...

Kameo & Nekokat: THAT. WAS. THE _MOST_ HORRIBLE SINGING WE'VE HEARD IN _YEARS_! AND YET, IT WAS SO FRICKEN AWESOME! 8D

Rei & Pon: KISS! KISS! KI-

Dib: ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL _UP_! And Nekokat! What the _hell_was that SEME UKE thing up there?!

Kameo: Oh, and just so all of you people who haven't had a chance to experience the awesomeness of eating raw fish, wasabi really does hurt your head if taken in too much amounts! See ya later!


	7. Blue roses?

Rei: Yo! Nekokat is a tad bit too busy these days so she makes _us_start off the chapters... So Dib... You guys still gonna TP Zim's house later? _­-was said a hint too cheerfully-_

Dib: Rei! Ugh, that's the last time I'm ever telling you any of my plans...

Zim: TP my house, eh? _-brings out a gigantic pillow-_

Dib: Oh no you don't! You'll never catch me alive, Zim! -_runs off_-

Kameo: _-comes in with a can of coffee-_ What the hell?! I leave you guys to do the chapter start for a bit and _this_ happens!.. Oh and this chapter is probably the longest...

**+Blue roses: Yellow going on Green+**

"When she said, '_down the path over there_', did she mean down this path and straight ahead to this clump of trees?" I looked up at the gigantic cypress trees that towered over us while Zim just frowned at me.

"If I weren't looking for Gir right now and knew where the exit is, I'm leaving you, here and now..." "I hope you go to hell..." I muttered. "Eh?" Huh, why bother answering him. I just went into the woods without a word. And what's in the big old forest? Nothing but a whole lotta dark. Literally. The only reason why we could see is cause its midday; the sun was blazing hot and yet the light in the forest was pretty much dim. Man I wish we had a flashlight here.

"Ow! What was that for?!" I looked at Zim who was just pointing somewhere out yonder. I saw something that looked like a jumping stick with a glowworm on top. Oh gee, what a description. The thing turned out to be a lamppost hopping around. How convenient that is. Well, the lamppost doesn't think so. It hopped off as we took a few steps closer so we had no choice but to run after it. This is just plain stupid. Why do we even bother chase this thing? My reasoning ability has dropped to a dangerously low level so I guess it's best for me to shut up before I say something stupid... We lost track of the lamppost and the path is nowhere in sight.

"Great... We're tired, we're hungry and we just lost the path..." Zim panted.

"Hungry?! You snarfed down a whole plate of waffles while I got nothing but a cup of soy sauce and wasabi! Plus, it was _your_ idea to go after that thing!"

"It's dark here! Of course the first thing I would do was chase after some light! And it's _your _fault if you hadn't had anything to eat!"

"We came there to _ask for directions_, not _eat_!"

"You know what?! I quit! You could just forget about working together to get outta here! I'm through working with you! You can just leave while I look for Gir!"

Zim's sudden outburst left me appalled for a while. "Zim, you can't just go off on your own! Who knows what'll happen if we split up! You can't leave!"

"Oh yeah? Watch me then!" And with that, four spider-like legs sprouted from his PAK which he used to grab onto the nearest tree and disappeared into the darkness. Ugh... I don't know why I even care about him... Why _do_ I care, anyway? Cause without him, my life would be pretty much worthless? I do admit that without him around, it's like there's a big hole in my very existence. But do I really care about him _that_ way? Darn it, am I finally losing my sanity?

"Yes you probably are."

"Holy-" the voice of a certain Cheshire cat startled me to death yet again; this time, I fell off the rock I was sitting on. "Kameo, I beg you, _stop doing that_! You trying to kill me or something?!"

"Nah, I'm just trying to make you faint... Just kidding, sheesh." she added after she saw my pout.

"Um, so... What're you doing here?"

"I was just having a little walk-"

"_Here_?"

She ignored me and just continued, "Like I was saying, I was just walking around, then I heard Zim's voice ranting about something like '_oh I quit! I can't take it anymore' _and all that crap. Then I saw Zim march off somewhere and I found you here, talking to yourself." She grinned at the _talking to yourself_ part.

"Wait... I was saying all that out loud?! Exactly how much of that did you hear?!" I could feel my cheeks burning up in the dim light.

"Hm... Starting from the _why do I care _part till the sanity question..." This is just too embarrassing to take. I mean, come _on_! A girl heard me talking to myself about..._ That_! Ugh, I just wish the earth would just swallow me up right now.

"Oi. What're you doing here anyway?"

"The Mad Hatter and March Hare told me that this forest is the only path to get to the queen..."

"We girls here have _names_ like everyone else you know so don't be shy about using them."

"Sorry..."

"Well, we'd better get going if you wanna get there as soon as possible."

"_We_? I mean, you're actually gonna help me get there?"

"If I knew any better, I'd think you're calling me a cold hearted bitch who doesn't give a damn about other peoples' needs." I could tell she was just kidding from her tone of voice.

"But seriously, Dib. You doubt people too much." She added while taking a new box of pocky from her pocket and nibbled at a piece. I just stared at her, mentally slapping myself for even thinking of snatching the food from her. _God_, the sight of someone eating food while I'm starving like a dog that hasn't eaten for weeks is just pure torture. Kameo saw me gawking at her so I quickly looked away and searched for something to stare at that didn't remind me of food.

"Dib, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine-" A rather loud growling sound from my stomach gave me away. Stupid hunger pangs...

"Huh... Here, eat up. Starving yourself isn't good you know? There was a ton of food back at Rei's house and yet you didn't even bother to pick up at least a couple of muffins on the table." She gave me the whole box of pocky she started on and just took out a new packet from her other pocket.

"Thanks..."

**+Zim's POV+** _wow, this is certainly a first. XD Let's see what goes on in our little Irken friend's thoughts :D_

"Aargh! Stupid +_insert a variety of certain words here that I refuse to mention in public due to the little kids who have probably stumbled upon this accursed fan fiction and all you religious fanatics who... Uhh... Never mind..._+ Dib-stink!" I kicked my foot in a random direction which unfortunately for me, had a gigantic rock blocking it.

"AARRGHH! Stupid stupid _stupid_ STUPID!" I heard light a rustling noise and the sound of a few leaves dropping come from behind me. Despite the dim light, it was all clear for me.

"Who's there?! You dare spy on Zim?!"

"Hi there, Zimmy!" Two familiar voices echoed loudly either side of me making me fall forward rather roughly.

"Y-you two again?! What do you want from me?!"

"Well, we were just-"

"Passing by this forest-"

"Then we heard some voices-"

"So we decided-"

"To check it out-"

"And stumbled-"

"Across you instead!" They ended their sentence with a little jazz hands gesture.

"Yeah, yeah, now leave me alone!"

"Aww, did something go wrong?"

"Now that you've pointed that out, that other guy isn't with you..."

"What happ- _hey_!"

"_He doesn't wanna talk about it, Chu_!"

"How'd you know-?"

"Hey, if you want, _we_ could escort you to the queen's place!"

Well, it didn't look like I had any choice. I wasn't really in the mood to argue about this again. What's the worst that could happen anyway? Ugh... I have this annoying nagging voice in my head that keeps telling me that going with these two was a _very_bad idea... Neh, aw well.

**+Dib's POV+ **_lawl_**, **_Zim's POV was fudging short XD_

"Hey, Kameo? Are you... _Glowing_?"

"Yes... Why?"

"Nothing, it just looks weird..."

"What? Want me to burst into a fire or something?"

"No! I mean, uh, well I... Never mind."

"Haha. You look cute when you're embarrassed..."

Awkward silence._Geez _this really is embarrassing... Hm. I wonder if she really can burst into flames. Oh shut up Dib, it's not the time to think about this kind of stuff. Ugh, and how much longer do we have to walk? My feet are starting to ache really badly and the further we go, the darker the sky gets. I hope we get there before the sun sets completely. Anyways, all throughout our little journey, I've been trying to stop myself from asking Kameo a variety of stupid questions like, '_are those your real ears_?' or '_why do you like pocky so much_?' and more random crap that is just as stupid as the glowing question.

"Do you think I'm weird?" I so deserve a head-desk for that.

"Neh? Oh, uh, yeah... Weird in a good way I suppose..."

"'_Weird in a good way_'?"

"Of course! I mean, there's the weird in a bad way. Zim is probably the most fitting example for that but, never mind." We laughed at that for a while, but eventually, the happy atmosphere faded away.

"Kameo, are you currently interested in someone from the opposite gender?"

**+Zim's POV+ **_-mock laughs- mini cliffy XD_

Yup. This _was _a bad idea. One moment, I was walking around this wretched forest, all alone and infuriated and the next thing I know, I'm being literally dragged around by two lookalikes and running for my life. I have _no _idea what these things are but they're really big, yellow, squiddy thingies with a set of razor sharp teeth surrounded by their tentacles +_a certain number of people out there may be able to guess what this is :3 and yes, it's a real monster character_+. It seems to like humid things, which, I may have a rather moderate amount of, right now.

"But why me?!" I yelled at Chu as I ran.

"Like we said!"

"Most of the creatures here-"

"Either haven't eaten for days-"

"Are really grouchy and are in a mood for a snack-"

"Or just plain bloodthirsty!"

"Like those rabbits!"

"For Pete's sake, stop completing each others' dog damned sentences!"

My legs were starting to go all wobbly but I wasn't gonna give up! Is it me, or are those squid things getting faster? _Crap_, it _is _me! Unfortunately for me, I started to slow down and the creatures' teeth were inches away from my dead keister. If Indie and Chu weren't here right now to drag me back into shape (I'd rather get dragged than be caught by those deformed squids), I would be a dead alien. We pushed through the clumps of bamboo trees and managed to get out of the forest and into a vast savannah like terrain. I heard the sound of gushing liquid somewhere around us. It turned out to be the Sherry waterfall. Oh, we were so cornered. Well, not until both my companions jumped in the river and swam towards the waterfall edge.

"Zim! Hurry up! Those things can swim, you know!"

The squid things were really close now; only a few meters away from us.

"Jump in NOW!"

"Bu-but... This is... I mean I'll- HOLY SNAAAAP!" Indie grabbed at my leg without warning and dragged me up front the waterfall. All I could do was scream in pain and fear. What else could I have done, eh? The bottom of the waterfall surprised the hell outta me as we splashed down into the reddish pink liquid; the strong current violently dragging me down into the seemingly endless abyss of bloody redness.

+_After a while of swimming, kicking, dragging, failed CPR-ing, screaming and more drastic measures..._+

"Augh! Off! Ow! Stop it already, I'm conscious now!.. Blurgh, _what_ is that _horrible_ taste in my mouth?!"

"Trust us Zim... You don't wanna know. Anyways..."

"THAT WAS THE MOST AWESOME WATERFALL CHASE SCENE _EVER_!" Indie and Chu screamed and high fived each other. I took a closer look at my surroundings and noticed a large amount of rabbit holes under big trees. One of them had a sign saying in big gold letters, _March Hare_... I guess that's the crazy rabbit girl's home. After a few minutes of exploring, I caught sight of a gigantic building made up of black and white marble. A closer look shows that there's a life sized maze made up of thorny hedges and inside were rose bushes, the shape of those bats with heart shaped holes in them.

"Is that..?"

"Yessiree! Welcome to the Queen of Heart's palace!"

"Well, you won't be needing us anymore!"

"If you really are smart, then you'd figure out your own way down there."

"See ya, Zimmy!" they waved simultaneously and disappeared with a cloud of smoke. _Finally_, some peace and quiet. I slowly made my way up to the maze, trying to make sure that if Gir is even here.

**+Dib's POV+**

"Kameo, are you currently interested in someone from the opposite gender?" Dog damnit I deserve to be head-desked several times now. Dib, why must you be so stupid _stupid _STUPID?! Forget head-desking, being flushed in the toilet, more like! Oh god Kameo's not talking or walking.

_Fwoosh_!

"Wh-what do you mean b-by that? I'm not seeing anyone- I don't like anyone! Of course not! What would make you think _that_?! I mean, I, well, you see-!" she burst into a flame (which was just the light and it wasn't really any warmer) and her cheeks were a deep shade of red. I think I just hit a sensitive spot a little too hard. After that incident, Kameo became a bit shifty eyed and fidgety around me. I think she was even walking away from me. Approximately 13 minutes later, her fire started to get dimmer and she was back to her normal self.

"Sorry..." No reply.

"Kame-?"

"For what?"

"...Earlier, I guess..." Silence again.

"Let's just... Get some rest. We'll continue walking tomorrow."

"Oh... Alright..." We camped under a short and shady tree and slept till God knows when.

**+Zim's POV+**

Dog damnit! It took me all afternoon just to get here! Well, it was all worth it. It may be dark, but I ain't giving up that easily. I picked a random direction into the maze and cautiously walked around randomly. I heard a few voices somewhere around so I decided to follow them... Which was way harder than I had expected it to be. This stupid maze only had one particular path to get to the palace while all the other paths lead to dead ends. After forty two dead ends, the voices were just around the corner. If you listen really closely, you could hear them arguing something about blue roses... Well, lo and behold, three little things that resembled frogs, each wearing a poncho with something that looks like different card numbers, specifically an ace, a three and a five of hearts. I think they're watering the roses with blue ink... What the heck? It's either my eyes deceiving me, or these creatures are what I thought they would be.

"No! Not too much of that! They'll wither if you put too much!" The green one yelled at the red one.

"Alright already, I- Hey! What do you think you're doing here, buddy?!"

"This is private property! The tour guide is at the other side!" screeched the blue one.

"Whoa, hold on guys. This kid looks pretty familiar..." the green frog thing stepped closer to me and examined me closely. Oh! I think I remember now!

"Y-you're an-"

"Irken!" "Keronian!" the two of us shouted out.

"_Kero kero kero kero_... I wasn't expecting so see the infamous invader Zim _here_, of all places."

"Zim? Hey! You're the stupid Irken who tried to destroy his own planet!" the blue Keronian laughed.

"Heh. And aren't _you _Sergeant Keroro? The procrastinating little gundam model lover who gets pushed around by the filthy human worm babies? The Keroro who failed to invade the earth several times because of the latter?" I snapped back.

"Oh, ha ha ha! Speak for yourself! At least _we_ had at least a little progress, while _you_ barely had any!"

"What?! You dare insult the almighty Zim?! I've had a _lot_ of progress, if I do say so myself!"

"_Ku ku ku ku ku,_ well actually, according to my resources, neither we nor he have had any... How shall I put this? _Proper _progress in the invasion of Pekopon. _Ku ku ku ku ku_." A yellow Keronian popped outta nowhere. I think his name was Kururu... Ugh I think I know now why this guy is the least liked in the whole platoon. He's just oozing with his dark aura of doom.

"Would you two just quit arguing and let's finish this up before dawn!" the red one yelled at us.

"What exactly are you doing anyway?"

"Well, you see, we were just planting some of the Queen's favorite roses..."

"But _someone_ got the wrong color!"

"All the packets looked exactly the same! How was I supposed to know?! Anyways, we planted yellow roses instead of blue ones so we're watering them with blue ink!"

"Watering?"

"These are super absorbent rose bushes! Guaranteed to absorb water really quickly and would be able to store them for a long period of time. _Ku ku ku ku ku_."

"Just like a cactus!"

"So now, stop stalling, get you Irken butt over here and help us!" the red Keronian yelled while pointing a gun at me.

"What if I say no?"

"Oh you don't wanna know..."

_Sergeant Keroro, Private Tamama, Corporal Giroro and Sergeant Major Kururu... Last transmission. Over and out._

**+Chapter end+ **_FINALLY! Lawl_

Dib: Wow... Impressively long... And with all that procrastination...

Kameo: Yup... Well, we're gonna have to cut off today's after chapter babble short... Dance party is cancelled...

Dib: Neh... But seriously Kameo, do you have any current love interest by any chance--?"

Kameo: SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M NOT ANSWERING _THAT_, YOU HERE ME?! AARGH! -_storms off in a hissy fit_-

Zim: Nice going, Dib...

Dib: What did I do?! Honestly, that girl's just PMS-ing or something...

Kameo & Nekokat: -_still at the other room_- WE HEARD THAT!!


	8. Queen of Hearts

Zim: Ha! Missed me- -_gets hit by water from some random direction_- Aargh! Aaaahh! It buuurnss!

Dib: Ha ha! I have no idea where that jet of water came from but that sure was funny! -_gets hit by an arrow that came from nowhere saying _big head- OW! What the hell is this?!

Kururu: _Ku ku ku_, I'm happy to know that my arrow gun works just fine. _Ku ku ku ku ku_.

Nekokat: -_dramatic appearance_- What the heck?! I just go away for a few chapters and _this_ happens!

**+Imma: The Queen of Hearts+**

**+Dib's POV+**

_No! I'm not crazy, I tell you! He's an alien! Why doesn't anyone believe me?!_

_You're just delusional. _

_You'll never amount to anything at this rate!_

_You're all talk._

"ARGH!" Oh... It was all just a dream. But for all I know, last night wasn't. I felt a big, soft lump beside me. Kameo's still asleep... What time is it anyway? Four fifteen. Figures... Anyway, I think I'd better wake Kameo up...

"Hey Kameo... Wake up!"

"_Hnn..._Five more minutes..." She rolled over a bit and flung her arms around my stomach... Okay, she's way worse than Zim. Darn it, calm down, Dib.

"K-Kameo?" I started poking at her head but she wouldn't budge. I also tried pulling at her tail to see if she would react just like other cats if you pull their tails, but to no avail. I was at the verge of screaming at her ears but she finally started to move around a lot. She stretched and tried to confirm as to where she is right now.

"Dib? What time is it?"

"Four twenty..."

She looked around again, but this time she started pacing for a while.

"We're lost." She shrugged

"What?!" How the hell can she say that so plainly?! She has _got_ to be kidding me...

"Aw well, let's just use the shortcut then..." she walked towards a random tree (acacia, I think), climbed up and started poking at the branches. Shortcut... _Shortcut_. Wait, if there was a shortcut all this time...

"Hey! If there was a shortcut all along, why didn't we use it at the first place?!"

"Huh? Oh, so I was right when I thought you didn't know there was one..." For Pete's sake, please don't tell me we _walked_ all the way here for nothing.

She continued, "You never really asked for the shortcut, if that's what you're thinking." Well, she's got a point there... But still!

"Here it is!" she said as she pulled down a big branch.

"Huh? Nothing's- WHOAA!" Five vines came out of nowhere and dragged me into the hole in the tree. Kameo followed shortly after.

**+Zim's POV+**

Ugh... They were right when they said I didn't wanna know. The ink they were using was obviously water based and it burned really painfully whenever it dripped on my skin. The red Keronian, Giroro, had admirable disciplinary techniques and was the most obedient soldiers I've ever seen (though, of course, _I'm _still better than him). Tamama, the blue one, on the other hand was a rather fierce fighter and had a temper to match (it didn't look like it at first sight, though). I had spent hours watering every single rose bush in the maze and unfortunately for me, I couldn't slack off due to a certain device that would electrocute me whenever I get a bit lazy... Ugh. What time is it?! Oh, so it's already dawn. Hallelujah! _Yawn_. I can finally sleep...

"Kururu! Garden scan!"

"Every single rose bush has been watered, _ku ku ku_."

"Alright! Great job, everyone! We all deserve a little break!"

"_Ku ku_, hold it. I don't think our plan has worked out all too well, _ku ku ku ku_."

"Ugh, your computer probably needs a little repairing." I assured as we passed by a rose bush. "As you can see, the roses are perfectly fine! Luscious green leaves and petals!"... Wait. There's something wrong about that sentence. _Luscious green leaves and petals_... Oh snap...

"Say what?! H-how can the flowers be colored _green_?!" Keroro started shaking Kururu violently by the shoulders.

"Um, Sarge... I think we overlooked something in our plan."

"Huh, let's see... Yellow plus blue is..." Keroro started to turn really pale.

"Uh, I guess I'll be going now!" I got stopped in my tracks by a cold metal gun pointed at my back.

"You're not going anywhere!"

"But I-"

"Queen of Hearts coming through!" a familiar sounding voice hollered through a megaphone.

"EEEK! Now we're done for!"

"Hi, Keroro!" A girl around my height wearing a black and white dress, black boots and had a staff with the bat with a heart shaped hole walked towards Keroro and the others. Following her was another Keronian (this time light blue in color) and yet again the weird vampire girl, Arian, wielding a rather large axe thing. She just smirked when she caught sight of me.

"I'm so sorry, Imma! Please forgive me!" Keroro cried.

"Huh?" she averted her attention to the rose bush beside us which now had bright green petals. She didn't look all too happy about the color combo.

"Okay, who the _hell_ watered my roses with _green_ ink?!"

"_Ku ku ku_, technically, it's blue ink your highness. _Ku ku_."

"I'm really sorry! I- I-!"

"And who the hell are _you_?!" She pointed her scepter at me.

"Uh, I well, I'm-"

"We tried our best to stop ruining your roses but he wouldn't stop!"

"Wait, what?!"

"Huh? Oh so it was this green blob thing that made my roses green?!"

"Yes! Please forgive me!" The other Keronians just looked at him in total shame. The Imma person just looked at me with a death glare then looked at Giroro's direction. The three of them just nodded, walked toward me and dragged me off.

"What the heck do you guys think you're doing?! And who was that anyway?!"

"_That_, my little Irken friend, was the Queen of Hearts."

"Well she sure doesn't look like one..."

"Tiaras are out so of fashion these days, _ku ku ku_."

**+Dib's POV+**

I closed my eyes all throughout the journey, afraid of what I would see. Well, closing my eyes was a bad idea... The vines just dropped us off somewhere and for all I know, we're either in a mud puddle or somewhere that's equally as wet. I opened my eyes and right before my eyes a bathroom was present... Black and white tiles covered the floor like a chess board. The walls were pure white marble while a few pillars here and there were made of black marble. There were also a few tints of red around, more or less, the furniture.

"Ooh, now I remember... Acacia trees lead to the bathrooms, cypress to living room, oaks to bedrooms and ficus to garden!" Kameo said while looking around the huge bathroom.

"Ugh... You could've remembered before you picked the acacia tree..."

"Well, we're in her palace now, right? Anyway, Imma usually wakes up around five o clock so we could just wait a while..."

"Are you sure, we're even allowed in here?"

"Me, yes. You, no."

"Then why-?"

"Intruder!" Something suddenly jumped on me and held me down with a stick of some sort. I looked behind me and saw a weird looking sky blue colored frog thing wearing a ninja mask. Hey! This things no frog! For all I know these things are aliens from the planet Keron!

"He's with me, Dororo."

"Kameo! I apologize for my sudden attack. Please excuse me." And with that, the alien jumped off of me.

"Don't worry. He doesn't mind..."

"If I may ask, what're you two doing here? I'm guessing that this isn't an ordinary visit due to the fact that you came in through one of the bathrooms."

"This dummy over here needs some help..."

"Lemme guess... These are one of the two kids _she_ mentioned, right?"

"Heh, yeah... Anyways, you got any pocky in the kitchen?"

Hm. I wonder what those two were talking about. She? All I know is that they weren't talking about the Queen. Which reminds me... What is Zim doing and where the hell is he?! A little while after Dororo left...

"I just noticed that this place s the perfect answer for the riddle, '_What's black and white and red all over_' or whatever it's supposed to be." Kameo chuckled while chewing on a chocoa bar.

"...Don't you ever eat anything else aside from chocolate?"

"Well, I eat fruits too, I guess."

"Let me rephrase that. Don't you eat anything at all aside from sweet stuff?"

"Raw fish and salted nuts and chips."

"No, that's not what I meant! I mean... Ugh, never mind."

+_Fifteen minutes later of awkward silence_+

The voice of Dororo and another voice echoed through the corridor so I decided to listen in.

"Oh, your highness! I see you're awake already. By the way, you've got some visitors."

"Kameo? Heh, I could smell her strong chocolate scent from here."

"She's also got the Dib kid with her."

"Ooh, I'll be right down, then."

**+Imma's POV+ **

_Yawn_... Bright and shining morning! _Again_. Why can't it rain for a day at least? Oh the responsibilities of being a queen... It burns. Anyway, I'd better get down now... I slowly made my way to my bathroom, took a long cold shower and got dressed. Dororo was humming to himself in the hallway till he saw me.

"Oh, your highness! I see you're awake already. By the way, you've got some visitors." I'm guessing it's Kameo. The last time I saw her was when that other girl came here and formed a meeting with all of us...

"She's also got the Dib kid with her."

"Ooh, I'll be right down, then." I skipped to the spiral stairs and rode down the stair railing like I usually do (saves time to get down but it needs practice). In the gigantic living room was Kameo and a guy with a big head and glasses.

"Yo, Imma!"

"Hey, turtle-o! What's up?" Kameo just pointed to the guy beside her. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Huh? You're the _Queen_? I was expecting someone... Bigger..." What?!

"I mean, you look more of the princess than the queen..." By the looks of it, he started tensing up when I gave him the look.

"Bigger?! _Bigger_?! Why? Can't a queen be fourteen years old?! Just because I'm underage doesn't mean I can't be queen! You little piece of crap! I will destroy you! _And _hurt you! And AAARRGGHH!" I shrieked at his face while I was being held back by Kameo and Dororo.

"Um, excuse her. She tends to be extremely sensitive..." Dororo explained.

"_Try not to upset her again, Dib... Remember, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything, _at all_._" I heard Kameo whisper to Dib.

"_How was I supposed to know-"_ He was cut off by Kameo who nudged at his ribs. Ugh, calm down Imma... He's just new here so be nice. After all, he doesn't even know me much yet. Which reminds me...

"Dororo, have you seen Keroro and the others?" I think I saw him flinch when I mentioned Keroro...

"Um, you see, I think..."

"Hey... Isn't that Keroro down there?" Kameo was at the window, looking down at the rose bush maze. I approached the window and saw Giroro yelling at Keroro. Right next to them was... What _is_ that thing anyway? It had red eyes, green skin and was holding a watering can.

"Hey! That's Zim over there!" That's the other one, eh? Let's check on them then. I silently ran for the door with the others following way behind. Then, I saw Arian patrolling around.

"Arian! Mind coming with us for a bit?"

"Huh? Sure..."

"Kameo, Dib! You guys just stay inside... We'll be right back." Ooh, whatever they're doing, they had better have a good explanation as to what the green blob is doing with a watering can.

**+Dib's POV+**

Huh. So I guess Zim beat me here... He looked rather off when I saw him. And _man_, that Imma girl sure is one short tempered girl. You can't blame me if I didn't know she was the queen. Looks really are deceiving...

"What are those Keronians doing here?"

"Hm? Oh... Imma took them in when they had nowhere to go after their failed invasion. And yes, we originally came from upstairs."

"Really?! Then what're you guys doing here of all places?"

"We had nowhere else to go."

"How did you find this place, then?"

"..."

_Sigh_, there's no getting through her properly. A few minutes later, three other Keronians barged in with Zim at hand. Imma didn't look any happier than earlier, though.

"Let go of me!"

"To the torture chamber!" she pointed to Zim. Oh _god_... What the fudging hell did he do this time?!

"And you!" she abruptly changed direction and pointed her scepter at my face.

"Go with him!"

"What?! What have I ever done to- YOOOOOUUUU!?" Unexpectedly, a trap door suddenly opened up below me, taking me to I-have-no-idea-where.

**+Zim's POV+**

Ow. Just plain ow. I can't _believe_ I have been man handled into this filthy rat hole by a couple of low life frogs! After I cleaned myself up, I poked and probed at the walls, trying to see if there're any secret passage thingies around...

"Hm? What's that peculiar sound-?" Pressing against the wall was a bad idea. Right before I could even finish my sentence, a hole opened up in the wall and shot Dib out. And damn, was he heavy or what! I just shoved him right off me and sat at the corner of the room.

"Ugh, what the hell did you do to her?!"

"What?! _Me_?! You're in here with me too you know!"

"She probably just threw me in here too because I'm unfortunately connected to you!"

"Just shut your trap! I'm sick of hearing you talk to me!"

"_I'm_ sick of your very existence!"

"Hey!" Tamama's voice echoed from outside.

"You guys quiet down there!" And we did quiet down. For hours and hours, we've been in the cold and dark metal cell, a digital wall clock being the only thing in it, aside from us. Approximately six and a half hours later, Kururu's voice could be heard through a PA system at the top right corner of the room.

"Wake up! You two have been lucky enough to be guinea pigs for a little experiment I'm conducting, _ku ku ku ku ku_."

"... Experiment?"

"Yes, an experiment..."

"What kind of experiment?"

"Oh nothing special... I just want to try out my new insect spray on you... Whether it's deadly or not, you two will be the judges, _ku ku ku ku ku_!"

"Wait, _what_?!"

"You heard me. I'll give you guys five minutes to prepare... Good luck! _Ku ku ku ku ku ku ku_!"

"Zim, we have _got_ to get outta here!"

"And how exactly do we do that, eh? This room is made up of solid metal! You don't expect me to walk through this wall now, do you?!"

"Oh god we're dead we're dead we're dead, we're _dead_! Please let this just be a dream!" Dib started whacking head on the wall.

"One minute and forty five seconds!"

"You've gotta be kidding us! That was barely even two minutes!" Is it all just gonna end like this? Am I destined to die from some poisonous bug spray? This is so effing depressing...

"Times up! You are now breathing in the bug spray! _Ku ku ku_..." Huh... Why does it smell like lavender? Without any warning whatsoever, the Dib stink just collapsed to the floor. By the looks of it he was having trouble in breathing. I started feeling all woozy too. No... I have to fight it! I will not allow myself to be killed here!

"Dib! Wake up! wake up you earth monkey!" I shook him vigorously but he wouldn't budge.

"Wake up! You can't die! You still owe me, remember?! Don't die on my now of all times! I..." I eventually collapsed myself, drowning in a pool of darkness...

**+Dib's POV+**

_Wake up! Dib, wake up!_

_Don't make me pour cold water all over you!_

_..._

"Dib, wake up! I can't beat you up if you're still lala land!" Gaz's voice echoed through my head rather loudly. Wait... _Gaz_?!

"Huh? Where am I-?" Gaz violently took me by my collar and beat the living crap outta me. Okay, what'd I do this time anyway? After Gaz was done...

"Wh-where am I?"

"At home. Where else, doofus?" she said a-matter-of-factly.

"Did I go anywhere else? Or was I really here the whole time..?"

"I-" she paused for a while and glanced at something somewhere behind me, then said with great restraint:

"You slept while watching Mysterious Mysteries..."

"Oh... What time is it?"

"Four thirty in the morning. Now, get your ass off the couch and go to your room."

...Was it all a dream? I guess so. I mean, Alice dreamed of all her adventures in Wonderland, right? Man, I should be careful of what I eat before I sleep.

**+Chapter end+**

Zim: Hallelujah! Finally, he last chapter!

Nekokat: You shut up Zim! For the last time, this is _not_ the last chapter!

Dib: Yeah, there's still the epilogue and that extra chapter you kept telling us about...

Kameo: Shut up, Dib... And let's do a finale dance!

Nekokat: _This is not the last chapter_--!

Kameo: Hit it, Gir!

Gir: Everybody dance n--! -_gets cut off by some techno music playing in the background_-

Keroro: Aikotoba wa... Afuro to gunsou... Afuro

Others: Afuro!

Keroro: Gunsou

Others: Gunsou!

All: Three, two, one, FIRE! _-all go on and on dancing to Afro Gunsou by Dance Man-_


	9. Epilogue

Pon: Yo! I have come back from the mentos citrus mint rehab to start off today's chapter!

Zim: It's the last--!

Nekokat: Zim... WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT?! I AM AT THE VERGE OF DIPPING YOU IN HOT AND COLD WATER!

Dib: Anyways, today we'll- what the?! -_gets pushed off the stage and a loud crashing sound follows_-

Pon: In this chapter, basically, this is the epilogue! Cheers!

**+Prologue of the Epilogue or simply The Start of Something Even Crazier+**

Two days. It's been two days since the 'dream', and a lot of weird things have been happening. Mostly, it was about something about Zim. He's been avoiding me since the day before yesterday. Something has gotta be up. And like always, it's up to me to find out what!

Skool. Lunch time. Zim invites me over to his house or base or whatever. Now, can you please tell me what's wrong about the latter statement? Exactly my point! The whole thing is just so _wrong_! My sworn enemy invites _me_, the very person who accuses him of being an alien and is trying to stop him from succeeding on invading planet earth, over to his house! God, is the whole world going crazy?! Okay, shutting up now. And what do I do? Accept his offer, of course. This would probably be the first and last time I would be able to see his base without any delay. Probably, though. There's also a possibility of being a trap, but I'm willing to take the risk anyway...

**+Someone else's POV+**

_A few days ago, of course._

"Gir, when Zim wakes up and he asks if he went somewhere or anything like that, tell him he hasn't left his base at all and he just bumped his head somewhere and got knocked out, kay?"

"Okie dokie!"

"Trek! Off to Dib's house!"

"Yay!"

Okay, this is the hard part. Gaz will kill me if I don't do this properly... Anyways, moving on...

**+Zim's POV+**

I slowly opened my eyes and groped my surroundings for a bit. I was... At home?! Impossible! I remember that I almost at Death's door with that Dib-monkey! And Gir... Gir! Crap, we left him back at that hellhole! I've gotta-

"Weehoo! The scary monkey show's on!" The extremely obnoxious and familiar voice rang in my head.

"Gir! Where have you been?!"

"I've been here the whole day! Wantsum pizza?"

"... Gir, did we like, go somewhere?"

"Yea! You went to the bathroom!" God this interrogating is just a plain waste of time. I probably just dreamt it all.

"Okay, Gir! Let's start planning our next evil scheme to rule this filthy ball of dirt!"

**+Dib's POV+**

_Back to original time line!_

The walk from skool to Zim's hose was pretty much uneventful. No one talked. We just walked and tried to avoid any eye contact or any other contact. When we reached Zim's door, though...

"SUPER NONSTOP DDR SHOWDOWN!"... That voice... It was oddly familiar. Some really loud music (Waka Laka I think) played shortly after the scream. Zim was twitching a lot...

"Excuse me for a moment..." he flung himself at the doorknob and struggled to open it. After the door was opened, a strong wave of... Soda? Yea, a strong wave of soda threw Zim backwards and landed on the pavement. I don't know if peeking in was a good or bad idea but... God, please tell me I'm hallucinating, _please_. Why? Because right before my eyes was a whole group of girls. Not just any girls. They were the girls we supposedly bumped into when we were in 'Wonderland'.

"Hey guys! Zim's here!"

"And so is Dib!"

"Yo, bighead!" Rei greeted me, though she was still fully focused at trying to get every step in her DDR game with Gir.

"Zim!" Chu ran up to Zim and glomped (God, how do I even know that word?) the living hell outta him.

"Surprised?" I heard Kameo's voice come from behind me.

"Oh, uh..."

"Don't be. There's someone else here that would really surprise you." She pointed to the direction of the 'kitchen', and there, standing by the door was the unmistakable figure of...

"Cten?!"

"Who? What? Cten?" Zim rushed up to me as he heard her name.

"Wh-what're _you_ doing _here_?! I thought you left like... Two years ago?!" Zim and I said in unison.

"Left? Haha! Yeah, sure I was upset and all, but... Bah! Who cares about the past! Not like we can change it, eh, guys?"

"What about that letter you sent to me about offing yourself?!"

"Pu-_lease_. I realized it was rather stupid to let myself go because of all that! I've had a lot of time to think it all over!"

"And where exactly have you been 'thinking'?"

"Oh in some distant planet a few eons from here-"

"We were in Asia!" Trek, her SIR unit, butted in.

"_Trek_!"

"The other side of the world? What were you doing _there_ of all places?"

"Uhh, research and stuff?" That's a bit off topic now...

"No we weren't! We were on vacation! You said it to me yourself, master! You were like, '_Trek, I've been thinking... Why don't we go to the other side of the world instead? I've heard that they've got really relaxing places there... Perfect conditions for me to clear my mind of all this madness and such!'_" And at that, Cten did a face-palm and looked as if she was at the verge of mangling her talkative SIR unit.

"_Anyways_, I am certainly not here to reminiscent about the past that I have been previously recovering from."

"Why are you here then?"

"To tell you this: You two are the most idiotic yet loveable people I've ever met so there. Surprise, surprise. You're on Candid Camera."

"... Uhh... Aren't you supposed to say that _after_the whole shooting and spying part?" Cten just stared at us for a few moments and started to laugh maniacally.

"You two haven't changed a bit after all this time! Care to elaborate, Pon?"

"With pleasure! Listen up you two, cause I'll only say this once. Your adventure in 'Wonderland' was just a setup. A whole act for this reality show we managed to get you guys in... But don't look at me like that just yet! Those bunnies, Venus flytraps, Nyororos and all the other dangerous stuff in there were a hundred percent real!"

"Lemme get this straight... You jeopardized our lives just so you guys could enter us in Candid Camera?!"

"On _intergalactic_T.V.!" The Keronian known as Tamama said outta nowhere.

"Courtesy of yours truly!" Keroro added.

"Don't forget me, Cten!"

"How'd you get in contact with _them_?! More importantly, _why_ are you interacting with the enemy?!"

"I've got a lot of connections, if I do say so myself... And FYI, dad has signed an official peace treaty between us Irkens and the Keronians... _He said it would help with the invasion of this planet, but you guys don't need to know about that just now..._"

"Since when-?!"

"Since last week!" Okaay...

"Um, care to give any better reasons as to why you did this?"

"Hmm... Well, for starters, just a little pay-back for our previous ordeals."

"That's it?"

"Basically... Yeah, that's it. OH! And these guys will be bunking in (technically, it's more of _moving _in) with you two. Kameo, Rei, Pon and Arian at Dib's house while Chu, Indie, Imma and the Keroro squad here at Zim's house... Au revoir!" And with that, she walked out of the front door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! You can't just tell us that these girls will be living with us and walk out like that! Gaz'll-"

"Gaz said she didn't mind... As long as _they_ don't bug her, you'll live." She said rather cynically while she climbed up her ship, followed by Trek and started it up.

"I won't be coming back for a very long time, you know! Sayonara, friends!" And with that, she disappeared into the night sky.

"One more thing!" Cten's voice echoed from above

"In case you haven't noticed, the Gir we used to lure you guys was a hologram!"

"Are you implying that we're stupid?!"

"YEA!" Moments after, we came to a conclusion that she has already gone far away. _Sigh_, I know we'll all miss that girl...

"Well, I guess it's the end of that..." And what the hell is that weird tingly feeling at the nape of my neck?!

"No, Dib. It's all just the start of something even crazier."

**+Chapter end+**

Nekokat: GOD! I'M FINALLY OVER WITH THIS EFFING EPILOGUE! -_is dying inside_- I AM SO EFFING SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE A MONTH TO GET OUT!

Kameo: Excuse her; she's been in _terribly __**horrible**_ shape these days--

Nekokat: Shut up, Kameo... Anyways, Cten over here is obviously not mine. GirPiggy owns her!

GirPiggy: Hi! -_waves_-

Nekokat: Oh and one more thing--

Zim: IT'S THE VERY LAST CHAPTER!

Nekokat: THAT'S IT ZIM! YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE! Cten! Pass me that pile of hot water balloons! GirPiggy! Hit that fire alarm and make it rain in here!

Zim: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!

Dib & Kameo: -_watches the others engage in water war_-

Dib: Hey, I heard that the donut shop round the corner's having a chocolate sale... Wanna come? My treat.

Kameo: Fine, but I'm only coming with you because of the chocolate and you're paying for all of it.

Pon: And with that, Kameo and Dib had avoided the punishment being given to us by the person who owns the building due to heavy water overflow and the annoyingly high water bill on the thirteenth floor! And yes, this is the thirteenth floor... Now go away before we're tempted to make _you _do all the work! Heh, kidding, sheesh...


End file.
